Birth Order

I am the oldest of three siblings in my family. I am also the only girl. I know that oldest children are usually responsible, serious, cautious, looking out for others. I think I was most of those things growing up, but I wonder how much of it is also related to my being a girl.

When we were teenagers and home all day during the summer, I remember my dad calling me to make sure that my brother, Clayton, would eat something because he would get so irritable and mean if he forgot to eat. And he was terrible at eating. He had a hard time at that age relating how he felt to the fact that he was hungry. So my dad asked me to make sure there was something for us all to eat in order to preserve the peace of the home til Mom would come home and make dinner. 

Now that I am a mom with children the same age I was at that time, I wonder how my mom and dad felt. Did they wish that Clay would learn to cook for himself? Did they understand his artistic temperament and know it was easier if I would just make an extra quesadilla and make sure Clay ate it? 

Some of my favorite birth order examples are from our oldest, Walter, and his innate protective impulse toward his younger brothers. When Walter was three and Clayton (our son is named after my brother) was one, we had gotten out of the car on a busy street corner. It was freezing that day, and the boys were wearing their tiny fleece suits, all bundled up and stiff. Clay began to toddle away toward the street, and Walter ran up behind him and tackled him to the sidewalk as an act of saving him. All their winter padding kept anyone from being hurt, but it was the first time I saw that first-born protectiveness in action.